RIPEFORPIPE
People and things that deserve a beatin'


Confused Visitors
Write in for Help
 
Several visitors have written in asking, "What do you mean by 'ripe for pipe'?  I don't get it."
Let us explain.

When you say a melon is ripe, you mean it's ready, ready to be consumed, right?  Well, when we say 'ripe for pipe,' we're declaring that a person or thing is ready—ready for a good pummeling with a pipe.

Therefore, the next time someone or something on television angers you, a mate spurns you, a coworker slights you, or you just get a raw deal, say he/she/it is "ripe for pipe!"


  		 

Recent Nominations
(Currently under review)
 
1. The "Can you hear me now?" guy on the Verizon commercials

2. The Beltway snipers

3. Tony Little

4. Metermaids

5. Inventor of the 'donut' spare tire

6. Osama Bin Laden

7. Howard Stern

8. Don Imus

9. Rush Limbaugh

10. The Weakest Link

11. Survivor: Anywhere

12. Elizabeth Dole

13. The Royal family

14. Hyper-friendly waitstaff

15. Taxi drivers who try to squeeze in another mile

16. Credit card firms that prey on students

17. Speed limits of 55 on interstates

18. Makers of bags of potato chips that are 1/2 air

19. Rosie O'Donnell

20. Slumlords
 

 

 
   
 
Nomination Form
Hello, and welcome to Ripeforpipe.com, the place on the web for easy, egalitarian relief from the hate that consumes you.

Complete the handy form below to submit the object of your loathing as a candidate for a good 'ole virtual pipe beating.  Our team of highly specialized analysts will review your nomination and render a decision on whether he/she/it is fit for inclusion on ripeforpipe.com.  If your candidate is chosen, you'll hear back from us in 7 to 29 weeks.  Good luck.
 		  
 



The subject I am nominating is a

 


Please describe, in detail, why the subject is ripe for pipe.
Include the subject's name; however if the the subject is
not famous, use only the first name (e.g., your ex-lover, Alex).


If my subject is chosen, I would like him/her/it to receive a

Gentle tap
Mild thrashing
Five-minute pummeling
Fifteen-minute clubbing
Half-hour, multiple pipe beating
One hour, multiple pipe clobbering by ex-Mafiosos


Type of pipe I would like used on my subject:




It is that my subject receive a beating.



In terms of ripeness for pipeness, the subject I am nominating (choose one)

Is still green (not ripe), but I still want him/her/it beaten anyway
Slightly ripe, but needs to spend some time in a warm dark place
Ripe-'n-juicy, prime for a beatin'
Overripe—better do it soon


My email address is

  (used for confirmation purposes only)



    


  
     


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